

glad i don’t feel like that anymore and I’m better

curls for prom!!!!!!!!
On Friday I straightened my hair. At school everyone was complimenting me an stuff but one of my best friends said this, “wow you actually look like a normal human being today!”. I know she was joking and stuff but does my hair really look that bad when I don’t straighten it? It makes me feel ugly to be honest.
Crying myself to sleep.
Why is it so hard for you to just say yes. I don’t think you understand how important it is to me and I wish you did.
i dont know why but ever since the day he called me to tell me about his new girlfriend, i cant stop thinking about him. i mean for other obvious reasons we still talk but i dont know why im so upset and distraught now. i have no clue why im thinking about things like marriage and if i dont get back with him ill never find a husband. im only 17. i just want to live care free and not worry about things like that, i mean that is another 10 years away! but i keep thinking about it. i could see myself marrying him in a heartbeat and i know that sounds so weird and strange but its true. my biggest fear in life is that i will never find that one person that i love and i get married too. it also doesnt help that 2 of my 4 best friends pretty much already found their husbands so it pressures me and makes me think that “well if i dont find anyone in high school then illl never get married”
today at work (babysit at my church) I was playing with Maddie who is 3 and we were playing with her little car and she was driving it on my leg and she asked me “miss mel why are your knees bigger than everyone elses?” and i looked at my knees and they were swollen from basketball so i told her that i didnt know and i asked her if she knew why. she said, “well God gave you those knees for a reason right?” and i said yes maddie he did. It was the cutest thing ever. It’s crazy that a little 3 year old knows more about God then like half of the population.